Posts Tagged ‘direct experience’

Relax, and Go

July 11, 2011 Leave a comment

I see in myself a holding back. I see in myself a constriction, an inability to relax and experience, a fear. Of what am I afraid? That if I let go, nothing will be. That if I let go, there will be too much. I see in myself a closing of doors, because being known is painful, and being real is scary.

What kind of courage does it take to let oneself be seen and touched? To relax one’s eyes and see clarity instead of fuzz? To open one’s heart without immediately noticing and getting in the way, and communicate with the great?

Sometimes I feel that my inner rooms are messy and unreachable. Sometimes I wonder if I can let go of the locks that keep me out. I think of the way that what you need, the secret, is always available, not difficult but immediate. I wonder how to change worlds. I wonder how to scrub myself clean. I wonder if I trust myself. I think I don’t. I think that is the problem.


Mixed Lineage

January 17, 2011 Leave a comment

The Oxford Study Bible, page 6: “both [the Hebrew Bible and the New Testament] relate the continuing story of God’s involvement with the Jewish people and the surrounding Gentile world.”

What does this have to do with me? Why are these the scriptures on which I’ve built my life? I’m not Jewish, and since the word “Gentile” only has meaning from a Jewish worldview, I’m not Gentile either.

I suppose there is both form and content at play here, Read more…